Lunch With The Ladies

Today, Maddi and I have a ladies luncheon to go to! It was to celebrate Grandma McMillen's birthday. We started out being on schedule, but in the last 10 minutes, we got delayed by a poopy diaper.

I showered as Maddi went back to sleep after her first couple of feedings in the morning. Then I managed to get out and finish getting ready just as she was waking up! I gave her a bath and got her dressed. Then, I had a one-handed breakfast as I nursed her one last time before we headed out. We were right on schedule. Then, I strapped her in the car seat - which is on the top of her "most un-favourite things to do" list. Then, I hear her go for a number two in her diaper! So I took her out of the car seat and changed her. I guess she was hungry after having gone to the bathroom, so I nursed her again. By this time, it was when I was supposed to meet Great Grandma, Grandma McMillen and Auntie Julie at the restaurant and we are just getting out the door. Sigh. 'Tis, the life with a baby... but I'm not complaining! She is most adorable!

At the restaurant, there was a waitress who was very excited to be expecting her first grandchild. So, she really wanted to meet Maddi. Maddi was nursing when she first came to see her, then Grandma took her to see the waitress after she was done nursing. The waitress ended up taking Maddi and something in me just wasn't comfortable with a stranger holding my baby. I couldn't articulate how I felt at the time and wasn't sure if I was over-reacting. Maddi was also not happy while with the waitress. I let it be for a little while, but was on the edge of my seat and really wanting to go get my baby back. After waiting a couple of minutes, the waitress didn't bring Maddi back to me despite her crying the whole time she was with her. With a little nudge from Great Grandma, I went to take Maddi back. A little crying can't harm a baby physically, but I can't stand the thought of Maddi feeling helpless when she is not where she wants to be. My mother's instinct kicks in and I just want to hold her; I wanted let her know everything's going to be okay, and that she can feel safe because I'm here to take care of her.

Wow, I've never felt this way, this intensely for anybody before. I think it is a wonderful way to feel and I love being a mom!

Happy Dreams

As Maddi napped today, I stared at her for minutes before I napped too. This photo is taken in that time and I caught her smiling in her sleep. Sweet dreams, happy baby!

I've started to hear some coos from Maddi and it is so exciting when she does! A part of me wants her to stay this small forever, but another part of me is excited to see her develop, grow and learn to do different things. I can't wait to see how she grows up to be like, I can't wait to see her little personality emerge, I can't wait to get to know her and the little person that she grows to become.

It truly is a privilege to be entrusted with the responsibility of guiding the path for her life. It is both nerve-racking and exciting beyond words to be given this enormous and incredible responsibility. Yet, with the love I have for her as her mother, I am confident I will do my best to give her the best life has to offer. Now I understand what my parents have always said, "Everything we do, we do for you."

Serendipity

Today, I got a visit from Sue and baby Ethan for a few hours. After they left, I walked to Urban Fare to pick something up. On my way there, I felt compelled to walk into saf & benjamin, the new-ish baby store that opened up. Sommer, the wonderful woman that owns it happens to be tending the store. I don't even remember how the conversation started, but somehow we got talking about me wanting to start my photography business while I'm on maternity leave. She didn't cheap out on the support, encouragement and resource/advice for me to go for it... and even welcomed me to stop in anytime to say hello or if I had any questions.

Yesterday, I met with Ashleigh Wells, today I have this encounter with Sommer. I am super impressed with how these women are so generous and how willing they are to encourage and help another woman who is venturing to start her own business. They're not the only ones, either and it's not just women. I've been very blessed to meet a few good people that have blown me away with just how willing they are to help.

After the slew of replays on the media of Steve Job's speeches, plus this serendipitous connection today... I was compelled to do something. So, I went online and submitted a name approval request. When I get the approval in a few days, I'll register the business and get a GST/HST number. I realize I don't need to register until I'm making $30K a year, but registering just makes it more real in my head. It makes everything more professional, more legitimate and therefore requires more commitment on my part - no more one foot out. As my brother said, I need to go all out and give it my best shot.

I'm excited, and I'm so proud of myself for acting while inspired to be courageous and follow my heart... when it's so easy to simply wish and hope.

Visiting The Alma Mater

Today, I drove out to SFU to meet Ashleigh, a photographer friend that I met at Image Explorations last Summer. Since I was up there, I paid a visit to old colleagues at the student society. Nancy & Lawrence, it was really great to see you and catch up a little, but it's a shame that you had been locked out since July 10! I sure hope resolution is around the corner, I can't imagine it to be a good thing not having income for such a long time!

The photo is of the main campus' Convocation Mall, all dressed for convocation ceremonies happening tomorrow and Friday. This place definitely brought back memories for me... I can't believe it's been 10 years since I last was up there on a daily basis.

On the topic of graduations (and hopefully inspirational as opposed to boring speeches), it is a sad day today as the news report that a legend, a visionary, a trailblazer, an inspiration had lost his battle with pancreatic cancer and passed away. RIP Steve Jobs. Thank you for living such an inspirational life and for your words of wisdom.

Below are my favourite quotes by him, all were bits from his Stanford commencement speech in 2005:

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Vintage Finds

A dollar fifty for a pack of 3 vintage designed glass magnets at Michaels... I couldn't resist! I bought 3 packs and these are ones that have messages on them.

Wise words I must say. This is my last week at work. Starting next week, until baby comes... is for me to take time for myself - relax, rest, nest. When Maddi comes, I'm sure the transition will give me lots of opportunities to look at myself closely and reflect. Lastly, the time during my maternity leave is an awesome chance for me to unlock some of my dreams and explore my purpose and passion.

I was in an Alice In Wonderland kind of mood when editing this photo...

Get Paid For Results, Not Time

Tonight, I met up with a couple of friends from high school that I haven't seen in a while. We went for dinner, then I quickly took a picture just before they got in their car. Unfortunately, it was dark out and I was lazy to check and make sure I got a good picture. The photo turned out to be a dud, so I ended up taking a photo of the card I pulled tonight from the Secrets of the Millionaire Mind set. Sorry, guys!

This card speaks to me. I am that person that lives in fear and needs the guarantees. It has served me to not make foolish decisions. However, it does make me feel stuck. I can only grow as much as how far my fears would allow me to go. Here is one more nudge to take the plunge. Eeek!

Run, Terry, Run!

 

Tonight, hubby and I went for a walk. Seems like it was a while ago since the last time we went on one. A few minutes out of our door, we come across this new memorial in front of GM Place.

I attended university at SFU, so although I didn't grow up here, I have heard of Terry Fox and his accomplishment. Such a great reminder of not being afraid to dream for a miracle, and not giving up on going after one's dreams! What an inspiration!

However, I must be honest. Someone "ordinary" like me can either hold him up on a pedestal, view him as special and make excuses for why I can't do great things like he did. Or, he can really be an inspiration... if I view him as disadvantaged compared to myself, yet he accomplished what he did. How much more capable am I to be able to accomplish my dreams?

Rule Breaker

This is Jeffrey, the guy who gave me a fringe last Friday. I've not had a fringe probably since I was five years old. I've always thought my hair was too thick and there's too much of it to be able to sport one. Jeffrey broke this rule for me and I love my fringe cut!

During my appointment with him last Friday, Jeffrey mentioned that he needed a hair model for a video he is submitting to ISO for a colour instructor position he is applying for. He asked if I would be interested in being his model and I'd get a free hair colour out of it for my time.

This afternoon, I walked into Is. Salon again for my hair colour appointment. I knew he was using red on my hair, but I thought it would be the brighter red, not the maroon-y red that I've stayed away from for years because it seems such a "Chinese" hair colour. Just as I was telling him this, he takes the towel off my head and says... it is a more maroon-y kind of red!

Jeffrey has been two for two with me - broke two hair rules for me in the two times I've met with him and both times I ended up loving what he's done with my hair.

Good luck on that application, Jeffrey! I am crossing my fingers that you get that position. Onwards and upwards... I love it when people work on improving themselves and go after their dreams.

p.s. Thank you also to the very generous Is. Salon - I got a full-sized bottle of Morrocan Oil moisture repair shampoo, full-sized jar of Davines Alchemic Conditioner for red hair colour and a free shampoo and style the next time I go into the salon. I was very impressed with how supportive the salon owner was of Jeffrey's venture.

Chasing Dreams

This is a vision board I made with a group of friends last November. A couple of the things on the board have already come true for me! I am just weeks away from meeting my little girl, I've taken this year to explore my creativity by starting an artist group with a few of my friends and getting a membership at the art gallery; I've also taken this year to search my heart, mind and soul by keeping up with this blog and openly sharing; and I've cultivated my smart parts by going back to school. Although I've added fuel to my passion for photography by going to the Image Explorations workshop this summer; now, I feel that the time has come for photography to take center stage in my focus.

My brother, who grew up being generally shy and quiet... has unexpectedly become one of the most inspiring people in my life. I love talking to him about dreams and going after them... he is one of the most driven, disciplined and ambitious people I know. I think he and my dad share more similarities than they both want to admit. =)

Tonight, I had a chat with my brother on Facebook. I told him I really need to use the time during my upcoming maternity leave wisely. It is my opportunity to figure out what I want to do with my career - whether I move forward with a secure future in accounting, or venture into the world of entrepreneurship and give my best to building a career in photography.

I have demons to slay in my head when it comes to photography - insecurities I need to get over, fears that I simply need to overcome by jumping in with both feet. I told him I've hesitated pouring financial resource into photography because I didn't want to make my family (Sean and now Maddi, too) suffer because I've misjudged photography for a worthy investment. Then even when my parents had offered to financially support my venture, I didn't want to waste their generous gift, so I was going about it really slowly. However, I now think that perhaps half-assing it is actually preventing me from making it. So maybe, I should just take their generous gift and give it my best shot. According to my brother's encouraging wise words, "Yes... GO, GO, GO... in a big way!"

I need to go after my dreams, if I'm going to be convincing when I tell Maddi one day that she should go after hers. For this, I am grateful to have people in my life that are willing to support me in whatever way they can so I can have the opportunity to chase after my dreams.

How did I get so lucky to have such awesome people in my family?!

Lighting Cole

Tonight, I met up with Cole to do a shoot so I could practice what I learned at the workshop last week. Hubby was kind enough to be my lighting assistant, but since there's only one of him, I had to either go without a second light or place the other light on the ground... which is not quite where I would have it if I had another lighting assistant.

This was one of the photos from our shoot. Ideally, I would have the second light held up higher... but I kinda like the dark shadow that is cast to the right of the photo.

I am just happy that I got to get some practice in and play with off-camera flash. Even Sean said he had fun holding up lights!

Exploration

Today, hubby, father-in-law and Colleen came with me to Shawnigan Lake School to drop me off at a week long photography workshop with Image Explorations. I've been looking forward to this week for a long time; I was part excited but part nervous.

I am taking Scott Robert Lim's class for the next 4 days... and learning from him to become a master of light. His images are amazing, and I want to learn how to create images like that. However, more than just learning the technical aspect of photography... I am here to gain confidence as a photographer, to find more fuel for my passion, and inspiration to encourage me to take my photography more seriously and go further with it. I've already met my roommate and our neighbour from the next dorm room who we will be sharing the bathroom with. I've already made a handful of new friends on the first day, I can't wait to play and meet more people throughout the week.

I've heard this workshop has been life changing for people, I am looking forward to not only exploring images, but also myself as a photographer.

Don't Just Survive...

During my appointment with my chiropractor tonight, I noticed this token on his desk. What an awesome message from the universe!

One of my fears is to live an ordinary life. I don't want to just scrape by... I want to live a full life! Sure, there will be hard times when it will be good to just get by... but for the most part, I would want to be happy, consciously living the life I want to live, experiencing all that the world has to offer.

Play, be creative, be curious, be happy.

Imagine, dream, believe, love.

Live with passion!

Winds Of Change

Today was April artists' date with my arty ladies. We went to Bella Ceramica in West Vancouver and tried our hands at pottery painting. This is my unfinished work of art. It still has to be fired and glazed, so we left our painted pottery pieces at the studio... to be picked up next week. I'm excited to see how it turns out!

It's interesting how I went through a similar process as last month with regards to how I felt about my artwork. I started out with an exciting picture in my head, then as I transfer it onto paper or in today's case, ceramic plate... I immediately started getting discouraged, thinking that it is going to be a major disappointment. But then, I keep working at it and in the end it actually emerges to be something I quite like and can be proud of. Lastly, an artist needs to learn when to stop.

Ripples

Today, as I was getting ready to take a break from studying and head out for a stroll to hunt for my photo of the day... a freak wind/rain storm came through. I decided to wait. It only lasted 10 minutes, then the sun came out - reminds me of tropical rains. So I went out and as I looked for what to photograph, I asked the universe what its message is for me today.

I came to a gazebo by the seawall near the marina and saw rainwater that has collected on the roof of the gazebo trickling down into the water... creating ripples - I knew this was my message.

As mentioned in a previous post, some days it is challenging to keep up with this blog. Recently, however, I have been fortunate enough to receive much appreciated feedback from those that have been following me on this journey.

I post the daily photos in an album on my personal page as well as daily links to this blog on the Alchemy Photographic Arts page on Facebook. With close to 700 friends, plus their friends who can view these photos on FB, I really have no idea who I'm touching. I'm glad to have been able to inspire or encourage in some way, although I embarked on this project mainly for myself. Knowing this puts into perspective the importance of the "work" we do in this world... whatever it may be.

No matter how small you think what you're doing is... it affects others and therefore affects the world. If someone does something to better your world, telling them they've helped you will return the favour and help them.

I dedicate today's photo to those that have come along to keep me company on this journey. To those that have taken the time and heart to encourage me on this project - THANK YOU!

Waiting for Spring's Magic

Walking on the seawall in this sunshine-y afternoon while taking a lunch break from burying my head in my Econ notes... it's amazing to see how dried up and seemingly dead these look, yet we know that Spring brings them back to their full glory!

No matter how neglected a talent may be, a bit of attention can bring it out of dormant-hood.

No matter how dead a dream may seem, a bit of "Spring Magic" can restore it... Keep dreaming!

A Call To Inspire

I got home from school less than an hour ago, and as I emptied my jacket pockets... I pulled out this token, which was a gift from the workshop I attended on the weekend. It was fitting that I start my 365 Days of Alchemy with a picture of this "call to inspire."