Last July Night

I was sooo tired today, I ended up taking a nap in the afternoon and then falling asleep at around 10.30pm while I was listening to a Hypnobabies recording. When I woke up, I quickly took this picture for my photo of the day.

It's not the best photo, but I think it's kinda cool to capture Sean and his sister hanging out on our patio on the last July night before Sean becomes a dad.

Perfect Summer Cake

We had some friends over for a BBQ before heading out to check out the Lantern Festival that was supposed to be in the Canada Place and Coal Harbour area this year.

This deliciousness was made by our baker extraordinaire friend Nat. The icing had a hint of coconut and the fresh fruits were a nice Summer touch!

I had planned to take my photo of the day at the Lantern Festival. Luckily, I had thought that this looks too pretty not to take a picture of earlier tonight... because it seems we had missed the Lantern Festival. When we got there, we couldn't find any signs of the big lantern installations, and there were only a few people with lanterns that passed by us on their way home.

A Rose For Norway

The other day, I read a blog post by a friend who shared about how she felt a bit detached after she heard the news about the horrific explosion and shooting in Norway. She was concerned that perhaps the amount of bad news we hear has somehow made her lose her compassion for fellow humans.

I must say, I am guilty of that, too. I am guilty of being too busy and consumed with my own life... as well as being desensitized to bad news because we hear so much of it. I knew something happened in Norway, but I was too busy to even find out about what exactly happened, until tonight.

And it seems true for me, that when I hear about so much tragedy... perhaps I get numbed, but I am not as emotionally available to feel compassion for those that are suffering.

However tonight, I dedicate my photo for the day to urge people to stop and pause from their busy lives and send love, light, support, positive thoughts and energies to those that are suffering in Norway - for those that died innocently, and especially those that lost people they love.

Lavender

Having had a busy day... and a tired hubby who couldn't go for a longer walk than literally just around our building, I didn't have a picture for the day by 10pm. so, I took a picture of my lavender plant that blossomed a few weeks ago.

I've been meaning to take a picture of it, I guess tonight is the perfect time!

Meal Fit For A Preggo

Hubby and I learned last night how important it is to make sure I get enough protein in my diet since I am growing a baby.

As homework from our prenatal course, I started writing down what I eat in a day.

I must say, when you become more conscious of what you're eating, it makes you eat better!

It was also encouraging when it made me realize that how I've been eating was already pretty good to begin with.

Maddi's New Kicks

The other day, when Penny came to do a photo shoot with us, she brought a present for Maddi. Aren't they the cutest little sneakers?! Sooo tiny! Maddi will be stylin' before she's even born!

Thanks, Penny!

Lighting Fiona

Yet another busy day today... squeezed in a photo shoot with Fiona to practice on my lighting some more, with hubby being my trusty lighting assistant. Then, we had a few things we needed to get to before our 2nd prenatal class tomorrow night - some readings and a couple of exercises.

Here is one photo from the shoot, the rest will be uploaded tomorrow or the next day. Now, to do one of the last 2 things on our list before our class tomorrow night... then off to snooze-land!

Good night, everyone!

Lighting Penny

Today was another busy day... which involved a photo shoot with our friend Penny, so I could get some practice in with lighting. Hubby kindly came along to be my lighting assistant again.

I didn't want to shoot in Yaletown or Gastown again... and wanted somewhere different, somewhere I haven't shot in. So, we ventured out to Coal Harbour. That area is a bit more challenging for me to shoot. It seems I just love the urban background - bricks, graffiti walls, decrepit buildings, etc. Coal Harbour is a bit more "natural," although I tried to stay away from anything that looked too pristine. I saw this stone balcony with ivy and thought to give it a shot.

Caribbean Days

This weekend, hubby and I have a lot of plans and errands to run. So, I wrote out a to-do list... and proud to say that we did everything on the list for today!

On the to-do list was also to go check out the Caribbean festival on the North Shore, since his friend's band is playing. Great food, good music, and an excellent way to people watch!

One Of My Favourite Things

My Canon lens travel mug... one of my favourite things.

Congrats On Number Two, Sue!

Tonight, a small group of ladies went out for eats and bubble tea to celebrate Sue having her second baby. It was supposed to be a low-key night... but apparently, we needed some drama, action and suspense to thrill and excite us! Another table in that small cafe had a fight almost break out... luckily it was somewhat kept under control before it got ugly. Sheesh!

Just another month, Sue! Best wishes on a smooth delivery and can't wait to hang out when we are both on maternity leave!

Twenty Seven And A Half

Today was such a busy day, and I just realized that I may not be able to get to everything I wanted to accomplish before I pop - Eeeeeks!

I didn't get a chance to go out and hunt for a photo. So, I took a picture of myself and my belly =)

This is me at 27 weeks and 3 days.

Hypnobabies!

I'm not sure when I started thinking of this, but I believe it was before I even knew I was pregnant... I wanted to explore my options with more natural birthing, i.e. midwifery, home or water birth, etc. However, when I did get pregnant... we were in the midst of looking for a new family doctor.

With a referral from a friend, we managed to find a great general practitioner who specializes in obstetrics. The only thing was, she was only accepting new patients to her practice if she provides the prenatal care and assist in the birth of the baby. It is important to me that we have a family doctor after we have our baby, so we decided to go with her and let go of our original plan to explore more natural options. I believe it was the right decision for us, although I was a bit bummed about letting go of a possibly more empowering birthing experience.

When I heard about the Hypnobabies prenatal course at my chiropractor's clinic, I got excited! I looked into it and consulted with Crystal Di Domizio, an instructor of the course... and decided that it was the perfect way in which I can incorporate the more natural aspect of birthing into my birth experience.

I want my birth experience to be empowering, not feeling like a helpless patient at the mercy of the medical professionals and drugs to treat me of my "condition."

I can imagine that many of you women who may be reading my blog have gone through giving birth to a child, and for some... it may not have been a pleasant experience, for some the medical staff had been very helpful and the medical interventions may have been desired. I want you all to know that I say everything I've said above with all due respect to every woman's individual and unique birth experience. I am simply sharing what I would like mine to be like. As part of getting to how I want my birth experience to be like, I would like to hear of only positive and empowering birthing stories, so please save the "horror" stories of birthing for at least until after I have had my own birthing experience.

Tonight, we had our first of six sessions of Hypnobabies classes. It was great to meet the other couples, although I'm still having a hard time remembering everybody's names - I think I can remember four of them. I'm sure I will eventually get everyone's names right by the end of the course. We were given great information and I love all the relaxation exercises - even Sean enjoyed them!

Thanks, Crystal... looking forward to the next session!

Lighting Cole

Tonight, I met up with Cole to do a shoot so I could practice what I learned at the workshop last week. Hubby was kind enough to be my lighting assistant, but since there's only one of him, I had to either go without a second light or place the other light on the ground... which is not quite where I would have it if I had another lighting assistant.

This was one of the photos from our shoot. Ideally, I would have the second light held up higher... but I kinda like the dark shadow that is cast to the right of the photo.

I am just happy that I got to get some practice in and play with off-camera flash. Even Sean said he had fun holding up lights!

Shadows

Earlier this afternoon, as light came through our windows, I caught a glimpse of the shadows from these bottles on the wall. I thought it would be a good shot to play with, but I had to make dinner.

After dinner, I must have been too tired from a shopping trip to Ikea and to the grocery store, from making dinner... that I ended up taking a nap. When I woke up, it was 10.30pm and I had no photo for the day. So, I decided to play with the idea I had from earlier in the afternoon.

Nules O'Shananigan

Today was a soggy day, but Nules and I were both getting bored being stuck indoors.

We decided to head out to a nearby cafe, played around with some drawings while we sipped coffee and chatted. Then, we decided to visit the local art store - an expensive decision!

Lastly, we stopped by another cafe for some eats when we realized we've skipped through lunch.

I played around with my flash and was taking portraits of Nules at the cafe... here's me "toasting" Nules as she gave me that "I'm up to no good" look. According to Scott Robert Lim, half of a light sandwich is a toast =).

Rock The Belly

 

Tonight, Sean put a set of headphones on my belly as I napped on the couch after dinner. When I woke up, it was too late to go out and hunt for my photo of the day. I thought I'd take a pic of the belly instead; of Maddi listening to some of daddy's favourite tunes.

Missed You!

Perhaps it was just the pregnancy hormones, but I was surprised at how nervous I was to be left at the school for the photography workshop last Sunday. It was like the first day of school and I didn't know anybody. I didn't want Sean to leave. I kept telling myself, "You're a big girl!"

It ended up being an amazing week. I saw a couple of familiar faces and also made a few new friends. I still missed Sean a lot... and it was great to finally see him when I got home tonight.

Channeling Light

Today, our class took a field trip to downtown Victoria. Our first stop was Chinatown, where Scott took us through the very narrow Fan Tan Alley. It had some gorgeous channeled light; here's my shot from it.

A Little Evil

 

Today, we learned about posing. We learned to compose a shot by starting with an emotion we want to convey to our audience.

When Kendra showed up with her hair done up like that, I immediately thought of a Vogue-ish Alice in Wonderland. More specifically, I thought of the Queen of Hearts. Here was what I told her - overbearing, angry, and a little evil. I gave a bit of direction for body positioning... and this is what I got. Pretty neat, isn't it?!

Playing With Light

Despite how tired I was last night, I had a hard time sleeping. However, I still had an early start today with breakfast at 7.30am and the first class starting at 8.30am... and another late night tonight with the class ending at 9.30pm. It must've been adrenaline that carried me through the day.

I have taken a one day workshop with our instructor Scott Robert Lim last Fall, so a lot of the lecture material covered in class today was a review for me. The afternoon however, was the chance to put into practice everything we learned in class and the opportunity to capture some amazing images in the school's chapel. Above is a photograph of one of our models, Kendra, to give you a taste of what we've been playing with!

As much fun as it has been, it's also been a long day. It's time to turn the lights out and get some good rest for another amazing day tomorrow!

Exploration

Today, hubby, father-in-law and Colleen came with me to Shawnigan Lake School to drop me off at a week long photography workshop with Image Explorations. I've been looking forward to this week for a long time; I was part excited but part nervous.

I am taking Scott Robert Lim's class for the next 4 days... and learning from him to become a master of light. His images are amazing, and I want to learn how to create images like that. However, more than just learning the technical aspect of photography... I am here to gain confidence as a photographer, to find more fuel for my passion, and inspiration to encourage me to take my photography more seriously and go further with it. I've already met my roommate and our neighbour from the next dorm room who we will be sharing the bathroom with. I've already made a handful of new friends on the first day, I can't wait to play and meet more people throughout the week.

I've heard this workshop has been life changing for people, I am looking forward to not only exploring images, but also myself as a photographer.

Milestone Portrait

This is hubby and I on my 36th birthday, with me being 26 weeks pregnant. This year, we celebrated in Sidney, BC with Sean's dad & Colleen. We decided to drop by for a weekend visit before I go to a five day photography workshop at the Shawnigan Lake School.

It's been a great day. I woke up to a "wall" full of birthday wishes on Facebook - so encouraged! Thank you to everyone who took the time and effort to send me a birthday greeting. We spent the day strolling downtown Victoria, stopped to have lunch at the Bard & Banker Pub, then came back to chill on dad & Colleen's patio for a bit before we were off to a fantastic dinner at The Chalet in Deep Cove (yes, they have a Deep Cove here, too). Now, we are on a friendly girls vs. boys competition on Rock Band. Guess who are winning? Girls rule - was there any question?! =P

I guess this is the last birthday that I will be celebrating before becoming a mama. I suspect that birthdays after this one will be a lot different... but I'm looking forward to them =)

Search My Soul

 

"The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out."
Proverbs 20:5

There was a time in my life when I went to church and read the bible. The above passage was one of my favourites.

It was 2.30am last I checked the time before falling asleep last night. What was keeping me up?

Earlier last night, I saw someone who I have hardly been in touch with the last ten years come online. I got a little excited and said hi to initiate an instant message chat. To cut a long story short, I was unexpectedly made aware of how much a decision I made ten years ago to leave the church that I was a part of then had affected someone that I was friends with at the time. Frankly, albeit not having had much of a relationship in the last ten years, I thought that we were at least still friends nonetheless.

She was in the teen ministry, which I had the pleasure of working in, at the time. It wasn't so much my decision to leave the church that she was upset about, I think... but that I walked out of hers and the other teens' lives with that decision. I honestly didn't think that that decision had affected her that much, if at all. On one hand, it is encouraging to know that I did have an impact on those kids back then. However, it was heartbreaking to know that although I made a decision that I still believe was good for me, it had to hurt other people. No, I don't think that leaving an organization means you necessarily leave the people you cared about in it... so why did I "walk out" of the teens' lives? This happened a long time ago, so I had to do some thinking and work through some fuzzy memories.

I tossed and turned last night and pondered on why I didn't keep in touch with most of the teens, when I have kept in touch with quite a few of my other friends from church. Finally, it came to me. When I decided to leave the church, my faith was in shambles. First off, I wasn't in the position to be there for someone else; secondly, I wasn't sure if the parents (and the rest of the church) would want their kids having a close relationship with someone who has left the church, when they are desperately hoping that their kids make the decision to become Christians. That's why I kept my distance... not wanting to be accused of "pulling them away" from the church and what their parents wanted them to believe in.

I am sure that I would've reciprocated the effort, if they had just initiated with maintaining their friendship with me... but most of them didn't. So I felt that it was a bit unfair that she would blame me entirely. Then again, she was thirteen years old at the time... can I really judge her the same way I would an adult?

I felt terrible as I was eventually let in on how she felt towards me, what she thought of me and now not wanting to have anything to do with me. To be honest, I really was ok with whether if she wanted to talk things out and patch things up or if she was done and didn't want to revisit the friendship. We both haven't had each other in our lives the past ten years... I will be ok going forward with my life without her and so will she without me.
 
Yet somehow, my heart ached a lot. I couldn't stop crying last night, and I woke up thinking about it this morning and continued to cry some more. There are some things that are making this hard for me to get over. There are things she said that bothered me.

First, she said that I seem to only pop up when I need something. Really? Is that what she thinks of me? In the seven or eight years that I was in the church and the few years that I was in her life, she really thinks that's the kind of person I am? I got a lot of help from people and friends while I was at church - rides when I didn't have a car, a couple of friends have given me money at separate occasions without me even asking for it when they knew I could really use the assistance, ears that listened, shoulders to cry on, wise advice when I needed them, etc. etc. etc. For all that, I am grateful; and I hope those that helped me know I appreciate what I have received from their generosity. I am not perfect by any means, but I know that out of gratitude, I have tried my best to give more than I got, and live as selflessly as I can. I have served and given as much as I can during my time there... I find it tough to take when someone thinks I only show up when I need something.

Secondly, she said that leaving the church is different than walking out of the lives of people you "supposedly" cared about. This stings. One of my biggest struggles about being in the church was how fake and shallow I thought many of the friendships were. I was big on being real and building real friendships. To be accused of being a fake was a big blow. I cared about those teens. I genuinely enjoyed their company and friendship. I have nothing to prove, I just hope they know that I truly did care about them and I wasn't just pretending, because it was my job to care.

This conversation last night led me to search my soul... and this is what I came away with - my conscience is clear, I have not done anything to intentionally hurt her and I have apologized for how I have unwittingly affected her with my decision to leave the church. I know I don't need her forgiveness as I know my heart was pure; but emotionally, I wished she would see my innocence and lift the accusations she's laid on me.

Perhaps it would have been easier if I got mad at her for the things she said... but I'm not mad. I don't feel any anger... just sadness and hurt for being wrongly judged, as well as imagining how hurt she must have been to get to the point where she didn't want anything to do with me. I have nothing against her, no ill thoughts of her, I still have fond memories of my times with her and my door is open if she ever changes her mind. Mostly though, I think I just felt blindsided. I was in a bit of a shock, as if I got the wind knocked out of me. It was something I completely did not see coming... and also, I think I needed to grieve the loss.

I believe this happened because there is a lesson here for me. What is it?

I can't help but think about how my decisions would affect this little girl that's still in my belly. To be honest, it is freaking me out a bit about motherhood.

Make Time For Friends

Regina is a friend I met during my university and church days. Since graduating, she's been quite the traveler... and I don't see very much of her at all. It's always a nice treat to hear from her every once in a while, when she happens to be in town.

Yesterday, I got a msg that she'll be in town until mid next week. However, since I'm going away this Friday... it was a bit tricky organizing to meet up in such a hurry. I am so glad we managed to make it work! It was great to see her and to catch up with each other even if for just an hour or so.

It is true what I read in The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin - that making time for friends is important, it contributes to one's happiness; that spending time with a girlfriend is healthy and comparable to going to the gym. So there, I've done my exercise for the day! =)

Take care my friend... until we see each other again!

A Historical Beauty

On many of my walks with hubby, we pass by the Yaletown Roundhouse which houses the magnificent looking, fully restored Engine 374. It is the engine to pull the first transcontinental train from the East coast to Vancouver in 1887.

I don't really know much more about its history, but I always take a second or a third glance at it every time I pass by. I could stare at it for a while and just be in awe of how handsome and shiny it is, imagining how it might have been... way back when people rode aboard it!

The Clock Is Ticking!

Can't believe I only have another three months to go - YIKES!

I have to get my butt in gear and start organizing the house to get the baby room ready. I've been shopping for baby furniture online... although haven't committed to any purchases yet. Why do I have such expensive taste? The crib I absolutely adore is over a thousand dollars! No, I'm not getting it... but it is my inspiration.

Click here to see a picture of it... then tell me, isn't it just perfect?

Roasted Garlic & Brie

Hubby and I had quite the feast for dinner tonight, and this is what we had for dessert after - roasted garlic & brie with grapes and flat bread crackers. Mmmm...

Burst My Bubble

For such a brilliant day - the sun out and the jazz festival at the park just blocks away from us, I am not sure why I was in such a cranky mood. Perhaps it was because I was experiencing some back pains, but who knows?! I just really wanted to burst out of the crabby bubble I was in. I didn't feel like being around people and thought that perhaps I should bail on a BBQ invitation by our friends tonight.

Thank goodness, I thought better. I decided to go for a short walk with hubby to check out the jazz festival. I thought that perhaps some exposure to the sun would help my mood... and I think it worked.

When we got to the BBQ, it was awesome to see friends we haven't seen for a while, enjoy playing with babies and be spoiled with good food.

This is a picture I took of Abby who was playing with bubbles. It's amazing how something so simple (soap and water) can emit such awe and provide seemingly endless entertainment.

A Show of Love

Despite a disappointing display by idiots after Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, the cooler crowd in this city shows an out-pour of love an appreciation for this place we call home. This is the true spirit of Vancouver.

Happy Canada Day!